Thursday, January 14, 2010
Our children
worry us to extremes at times. I got a call last night from Diane while she was headed back to her daughter who was in hospital and very sick. My heart jumped from my chest. It's the worse feeling in the world when your child needs you and you feel like you can't get to them fast enough. She ventured out on icy, slick roads, trying to keep up the posted speed limits, all the while scared out of her mind. I knew exactly how she felt. Stephanie got very sick in her first year of school and she is 1.5 hours away from us, closer than Lara is to Diane, but it still feels hundreds of miles away when you are trying to get there as fast as you can. The feeble voice on the phone telling you "I need you mommy." She was 18 at the time, but she sounded like the frightened little girl I nursed back to health tons of times. I felt so useless on the other end of that phone. My heart sank and I cried. I felt the same after talking to Diane last night. I wanted so much to be there for her and comfort her and drive her so she didn't have to. I'm tearing up now just writing this. I am too emotional for my own good I guess. I have triggers that will set me off and my children and friends are definite ones. I blubber like a baby. I took Stephanie home with me and nursed her back to health just like I've always done. She just needed her mommy after all ;) And Lara needed hers. We get the call and we come running, swords drawn, yelling like a warrior, daring anyone to get in our way. I'm so relieved to hear that Lara is doing better, and will feel so much better once she is out of the woods and home safe and sound. Our children grow up right before our eyes and make this magical transformation into adults, but they still have that small child within that continues to reach out to us. And I for one will ALWAYS be there to grab their hand, place it in mine, and make all the bad things go away. In a blink of an eye, our worlds can come crashing down around us. Life is sacred, my children are my world and I would die for them, literally, no hesitation, because I love them unconditionally. I am their mother, their protector, their teacher, their guide in this crazy world.
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4 comments:
I'm sitting here in a chair next to Lara's hospital bed watching her sleep..apart from the oxygen mask and the IV line in her arm, she looks peaceful and it'd be hard to know she's feeling so sick. Then you look down and see how hard she's having to struggle to breathe and she suddenly looks so fragile. Reading what you wrote Mel has me all choked up and emotional and tears are flowing freely. Every word strikes such a chord with me and I'm totally over-whelmed by you and your wonderful soul. As I often am.
Thank you x
You are very welcome dear. You made me cry reading your response. We are just a couple of saps ;) They appear to be so grown up to the average onlooker, but to our naked eyes, they are still our babies ;)
Until I lost my mother to cancer 6 years ago, no matter what my age when things were really scarey I still needed my Mom. And then when she was terminally ill and I looked after her, she needed me just as badly. It works both ways. Oh and you two aren't the only "saps", this all made me teary-eyed too, LOL.
You neglected to post how very ill Lara was - That girl was in CRITICAL condition with a very, very, very life-threatening respiratory condition.
And you also forgot to mention that Diane drove for 3 hours, exhausted, sick herself, in the worst winter weather that the UK has experienced in decades at (IIR) 2AM just to get to the hospital.
And Lara's romantic partner Shannon, a top-quality bloke, left work the next day to drive up and be with her as well. (I would contrast that behavior with Lara's Dad's, but that would be petty and mean, so I won't)
Those are good people, so if y'all have any good-health energy left to send their way, they could sure use it!
Orion
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