Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Things could be better

I am so stressed out right now. I am dealing with two things going on. First, my husband has decided in his infinite wisdom to bring his mother back from Pittsburgh to come live with us since her health was failing. He has changed his hours at work so he can be with her during the day and guess who gets her every evening? Yep, that would be ME! Now I'm not trying to sound selfish, because I genuinely love this woman and she is like another mother to me, but I really can't be expected to give up every single evening for who knows how long. I am more than willing to help out, but not to that extreme. Our niece has offered to come sit with her during the day for the same price we would have had to pay an adult day care service, so today she is doing a trial run to make sure it's not too much for her. I would rather have her with family and my niece needed a job so hopefully it will all work out well. We shall see.

My other dilemma is my brother who lives out in Washington state. His wife has left him recently and moved back to NC and he went into a deep depression. He called me Saturday night crying and saying he just wanted to kill himself. I got him a number for a suicide hot line out there so he could talk with someone. He seems to be doing better, but he needs to seek professional help, and I don't know if he will. It's hard being thousands of miles away.

So far 2011 has been a sucky year for me. I hope it turns around soon.


Diane said...

Lots and lots of love to you Mel. I just sent you a private message by email to share my thoughts with you about this. I can't wait to see you in April and give you a huge big hug. Lots of love xxx

Melanie said...

Thanks Diane. I felt your hug all the way from across the pond. xx

Jude said...

Oh man this is a toughie Melly. I can completely understand your reluctance and worry as I don't think I could do it, personally. It's a lot to ask, even though you love her.

I wish you well with this, and hope that it won't be as tough as it seems now. And I also send my best wishes for your brother. Please keep us posted?


Melanie said...

Well we got my niece to sit with her during the day, so Ken can go back to regular hours. That's a big relief.

Also my brother seems to be doing just fine, so hopefully he stays that way.

Jude said...

Thank goodness your brother is doing okay Melly. And I'm glad your niece is able to help out!


Orion said...

Keeping my fingers crossed that things turn 'round for you - 2011 is starting out fairly well for me and I'm hoping that yours catches up to mine!


Melanie said...

Thanks O. It's much better than it was. I'm just gonna call it a minor bump in the road. I'm looking forward to a much brighter year ;)

Dick said...

I'll agree with what the others have said here. We have some neighbors who have had her mother living with them for three years or so. She is 92 and likely has Alzheimer's or something similar so has gotten hard to live with. A couple of weeks ago they found a place she could move to and, after she spent a little time there, she has moved. Sometimes staying with the kids becomes just a temporary stay.

I don't know what to say about your brother, but hope he is doing better. It would be hard to go through a separation like that and especially if most of his family is on the opposite coast.

As Orion said, so far (knock on wood) 2011 has been pretty good for us and I hope it will turn out that way for your family, too.

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Candace Stevenson said...

awh, I'm sorry! I can see how that can turn into a pretty big burden but who knows, maybe it can become a blessing in disguise?Hope 2012 it better for you!

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BabyEvelyne said...

Hi there!
first of all, I'm sorry to hear what's going on with your brother. I hope he's doing allright now.
You have a great blog here & I'd love to read them all. Wish I could write my words down, just like you do. I have a blog I use like an online diary, but it's not going well. Maybe I have to practice more & then I'll get better, haha.
Got to leave you now & I'll hope to see you sometimes on my site.

Have a nice day!
Hughs & x-x-x

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